Divorce.....The trending news

Divorce.....The trending news

Today I hear and read news on marriages packing up, it's gradually becoming a regular issue on social media from pastors, to celebrities, to politicians in fact to all spheres of life.
It's quite disturbing and heart aching to see marriages packing up.....
Is it that we no longer understand what marriage means before we go into it or do people become someone else all in the bid to marry?
I'm still single and it scares me to get married because of things happening in marriages, just as I am an advocate of staying away from violent relationships and marriages, I still wish marriages can still be for better for worse as it used to....
In this article,...I would be writing from my own perspective, you might have a contrary opinion to it though, I will highlight the possible causes and a probable solution to them. At times we forget how long a lifetime can actually be when we enter into relationships like marriage.
I think the young adult of today grew up into looking at only the better side of marriage...using the Nigerian slang#Noone wants to stay in surulere again, everyone wants olorunshogo, it means everyone wants a ready made woman/man....
We're all being deceived by the "Over the moon feelings" you were only excited how your wedding would look like, and was not ready to face the reality of what marriage is..
Hmmm, Marriage is sacred and as beautiful as it is, it also comes with its own challenges . And should not be taken lightly ,wrong notions about marriage should be addressed so that we can face the reality of it, it is a beautiful institution when you're with the right person and a ugly experience when it is with the wrong person, Relationship in marriage is complicated, it is understanding, it is a combined effort ....Marriage originated from our father and mother Adam and eve, the reason for marriage according to God's plan is for companionship. Then automatically marriage is for companionship that is the primary reason for it, Adam was alone, every other creature had a partner I guess he'd have been really lonely,he being the only different one in the garden, God saw this and decided to send him an helpmeet, A companion, his kind, a part of him when he got her, they were knitted together in Love...
Let's highlight some probable causes of divorce:
Causes of break ups in marriage..
Finance : this can make and as well mar marriages, when there is no finance to pay up bills, to look good, eat good food etc there'd be issue with the marriage.
Trust they say is the key to every relationship such as marriage, when couples find it hard to trusting each other then there'd be issue in that marriage.
Infidelity: this has broken lots of home, couples who have infidelity issue in their marriage may end up breaking up from the marriage.
Ego...this can mean a partner wanting to be in control all the time, and also always thinking about self, even when wrong they would never admit to it. Always dominating

In addition to this we have:
 Couples "walking on their toes" during courtship to please their spouses, see! your spouse should Know everything about you if truly he/she truly loves you transparency matters in every relationship, I know someone is saying "what if he later use that against me?" Don't bother about that no one is a saint, everyone has a past, it would be worst if he/she learns about it from a third party...so do well to make your relationship stand the test of time by leaving no stone unturned...Be Naked!
Another cause could be you ignoring the  inignorable traits in your spouse, I hear people talking about change, yes it is true, change is constant everyone has a probability to change but wait a minute some people find it hard on changing from a bad behaviour to becoming a better person, take for example a person who grew up seeing his father beat up his mother might end up having no regard for females, changing him from that mindset may prove difficult. they simply find it hard to convert....
A person who doesn't respect your parent should not be considered as a marriage partner, Yuck! Don't be blindfolded by whatsoever he or she is offering you at the moment because it would bounce back
 Another issue is ....letting civilisation rule your marriage, we claim to be career women while our homes are being taken over by maids and strange women, I'm not in opposition to being a career woman, I strongly believe in it and I'm also one.       As a woman , "a virtuous woman " our gender role primarily is to take care of our home, this include our children and our husband... If we're getting it right in other aspect and failing in this aspect then we're a loser, do well to look after your home when doing this if the love was truly there I'm sure it will ignite the flame of love in our homes.. And for the men if you give more attention and time to your job more than your family, then there is fire on the mountain, You might end up loosing your precious wife to "sometimes your best friend" So do the needful to Keep your homes, save your marriages!
In addition to these, while courting, court to get familiar with each other, talk at length, help each other when the need be, get to know the inside out of your spouse.
Some marriages today are falling apart  probably because they didn't court to know each other, they only engaged in fantasies of getting engaged. No deep discussion,
They just wanted to be the talk of town, everyone loves admiration and attention but hay! Face the reality, Are you ready to get enrolled into the life time institution with that person ?..
In this part of the world, the society has a huge influence on us, the society has succeeded in dictating when to be married  because we didn't want to fail the society, so  we ended up getting married to the wrong one, then after a month or two we suddenly realise he/she wasn't the right one, thereby looking out for ways to jump out of the marriage....
Diamond akpata( a radio continental presenter) would always say "when the use of a thing is not known abuse is inevitable..."
People think it's a joke, when we say read about marriages, read books, on it, get information from elderly ones...don't be carried away.
Then lastly, read the producer's manual on the product marriage...
Read the bible about what it says on marriage, If you're a Christian,
Read the Qur'an if you're a Muslim.         

In a nutshell, do everything possible to savage your marriage,